i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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