Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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