Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
