I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize