Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
