i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize