Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
