I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
