so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
my liver is dry heaving
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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