i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
