Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
