She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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