i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she told me i tasted like america
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
