remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize