I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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