Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
