she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
