its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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