I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
