Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
