Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
