There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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