I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize