so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
