Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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