She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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