So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
