I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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