i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
