Do you still have your period?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize