I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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