There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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