Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We have so much sex to catch up on
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
