i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
