I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
