i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
