the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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