That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
