OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
