I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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