Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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