i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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