even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
