My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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