Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
