it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize