All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
