after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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