My nipple is on Facebook.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
