she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
