I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
