i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
