yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
