It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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