I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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