I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
