what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize