the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize