Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
