i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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