I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize