you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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