Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize