Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
