At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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