dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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