Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
