i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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