Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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